Recently, I came across this nifty business quote: “Every job involves negotiating.”

To a seminar provider and keynote speaker specializing in best practices in negotiation and innovations in negotiation, this isn’t a revelation, but it is a good reminder of the significant role negotiation plays in our careers.

We negotiate all the time, mostly unconsciously.

Just this morning, for example, I was doing some goal setting for the day, against the backdrop of an azure Pacific Ocean.

“How many cold calls should I make?” I prompted myself, being in the midst of a business-building program.

“How many follow-ups should I make?” I wondered next.

Then I thought about what my family will be doing at the same time I’m selling away.

School is out and my brood is likely to want papa for chauffeuring or bankrolling a day of diversions.

“No avoiding that,” I mused.

All the while these thoughts and plans were percolating I was negotiating-with myself.

Any kind of prioritizing, goal setting, and time management activity is a form of bargaining. We make deals with ourselves, and with our jobs, and we do it constantly, re-calibrating what matters, what we’ll put into a given commitment to get out of it a certain amount of value, utility and pleasure.

Indeed, the entire work/life balance equation that most of us try to nuance is an ongoing negotiation, giving up a certain amount of this to get more of that.

And as we can falter in an official negotiation, for a job, a car, a house, or an education, we can also stumble when bargaining with ourselves.

(1) We can err when setting our aspiration levels. Aiming too high or too low can spell disaster in a negotiation, as can aiming not high or low enough, depending on whether we are buying or selling. Selling yourself or your products and services too low, cutting too deeply into profits, or setting them too high, scaring away buyers, can put you into the poorhouse. When negotiating your personal aspiration level, deciding “I can never make that kind of money,” even though this is a major goal, is defeatist, and you’ll probably despise yourself for settling for less out of life.

(2) I love that disclaimer to be found in most prospectuses from Wall Street. “Past performance is not a promise of future performance.” Things change, and so do we. Zen practitioners might say, “You never step into the same negotiation, twice.” Military strategists warn against “Planning for yesterday’s wars.” This means you have to press the reset button with each new day and negotiation partner. Speaking of the work/life balance, you may have decided long ago, before you entered a serious personal relationship, to put in 14-hour days or to travel 75% of the time. Will that work into the indefinite future? Something has to give.

(3) One of my elementary school teachers had a sign made to fit around the class clock: TIME PASSES: WILL YOU? I’m reminded of this by those that decide that they’re “Only going to give so much” to their employers while at work. These are the folks that avoid taking on more responsibilities while quipping, “That’s above my pay grade,” or “They don’t pay me for that.” Strictly speaking, this is correct, yet by cutting such restricted deals with their jobs some people are limiting their experiences as well as opportunities for training and promotions. They’re also diminishing their odds of being able to jump ship for a better deal. Lest you think this kind of “slow-walking” is relegated to the lowest paid ranks, study the behavior of certain multi-million dollar athletes during or after their negotiations. If they think their employers are stingy, many can’t resist seeking revenge, which typically ruins their careers. It’s almost impossible to play 20% under your potential. It’s a lot easier to give 100% all the time. By the way, if we withhold our efforts, we’ll get into the nasty habit of doing so, and then, when we want to excel, we will probably sputter because we’re out of practice.

(4) We negotiate on the job when we need to get cooperation from other people and departments. When we seek raises, recognition, and promotions, we’re obviously doing the same. Getting and keeping customers involves nonstop negotiations.

In fact, it is hard to find a time when we’re NOT negotiating, before, during, and even after work.

It might help to heighten awareness of and respect for this activity if we simply say a negotiator’s work is never done!