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If you go on a vacation to someplace exotic there is a good possibility that you will be lured into a timeshare presentation. They will give you a lot of good reasons to sit through their speech and often they will offer you something that sounds good enough for you to bite. I know that for my wife and I we have sat through our fair share of timeshare presentations and we have even ended up buying a few, but what can you do to make sure that you don’t buy, especially if you aren’t in a position to buy?

Sometimes when we go on vacation we are able to get a great rate on our room or vacation package because we are willing to sit through the timeshare presentation. This is completely understandable. They are in a position to make a lot of money with your timeshare purchase and you are able to save a lot of money on your vacation by being willing to sit through the presentation. The danger comes in because they are in a position to win the struggle of averages. A considerable number of people that are willing to sit through the presentation and do not want to buy will end up buying because they are very good at presenting their side of the argument. That is how they make their money, so you need to be prepared not to purchase from the start. Make sure that you even tell them (although they have heard it before) that you are just there to get the discount, and when they get to the sales part you will be ready to tell them no right away.

Of course once you get beyond that hurdle you are not really done. Another sales person, usually in a higher position will come out to give you an offer that you can’t refuse. This is a dangerous place for you to be in because they will give you a good offer and you will recognize it. But add it up in your head and realize that you will be making those monthly payments for years, perhaps even after your circumstances change and you aren’t able to take advantage of the timeshare vacation.

So before you take them up on the vacation discount make sure you have resolved in your mind exactly what the outcome will be and stick to it. Even if the pressure gets heavy you need to stick to your word and let it be no. If, of course, you find that it is something that you really want then you should go for it, but make sure to think about it first.

Recently, I came across this nifty business quote: “Every job involves negotiating.”

To a seminar provider and keynote speaker specializing in best practices in negotiation and innovations in negotiation, this isn’t a revelation, but it is a good reminder of the significant role negotiation plays in our careers.

We negotiate all the time, mostly unconsciously.

Just this morning, for example, I was doing some goal setting for the day, against the backdrop of an azure Pacific Ocean.

“How many cold calls should I make?” I prompted myself, being in the midst of a business-building program.

“How many follow-ups should I make?” I wondered next.

Then I thought about what my family will be doing at the same time I’m selling away.

School is out and my brood is likely to want papa for chauffeuring or bankrolling a day of diversions.

“No avoiding that,” I mused.

All the while these thoughts and plans were percolating I was negotiating-with myself.

Any kind of prioritizing, goal setting, and time management activity is a form of bargaining. We make deals with ourselves, and with our jobs, and we do it constantly, re-calibrating what matters, what we’ll put into a given commitment to get out of it a certain amount of value, utility and pleasure.

Indeed, the entire work/life balance equation that most of us try to nuance is an ongoing negotiation, giving up a certain amount of this to get more of that.

And as we can falter in an official negotiation, for a job, a car, a house, or an education, we can also stumble when bargaining with ourselves.

(1) We can err when setting our aspiration levels. Aiming too high or too low can spell disaster in a negotiation, as can aiming not high or low enough, depending on whether we are buying or selling. Selling yourself or your products and services too low, cutting too deeply into profits, or setting them too high, scaring away buyers, can put you into the poorhouse. When negotiating your personal aspiration level, deciding “I can never make that kind of money,” even though this is a major goal, is defeatist, and you’ll probably despise yourself for settling for less out of life.

(2) I love that disclaimer to be found in most prospectuses from Wall Street. “Past performance is not a promise of future performance.” Things change, and so do we. Zen practitioners might say, “You never step into the same negotiation, twice.” Military strategists warn against “Planning for yesterday’s wars.” This means you have to press the reset button with each new day and negotiation partner. Speaking of the work/life balance, you may have decided long ago, before you entered a serious personal relationship, to put in 14-hour days or to travel 75% of the time. Will that work into the indefinite future? Something has to give.

(3) One of my elementary school teachers had a sign made to fit around the class clock: TIME PASSES: WILL YOU? I’m reminded of this by those that decide that they’re “Only going to give so much” to their employers while at work. These are the folks that avoid taking on more responsibilities while quipping, “That’s above my pay grade,” or “They don’t pay me for that.” Strictly speaking, this is correct, yet by cutting such restricted deals with their jobs some people are limiting their experiences as well as opportunities for training and promotions. They’re also diminishing their odds of being able to jump ship for a better deal. Lest you think this kind of “slow-walking” is relegated to the lowest paid ranks, study the behavior of certain multi-million dollar athletes during or after their negotiations. If they think their employers are stingy, many can’t resist seeking revenge, which typically ruins their careers. It’s almost impossible to play 20% under your potential. It’s a lot easier to give 100% all the time. By the way, if we withhold our efforts, we’ll get into the nasty habit of doing so, and then, when we want to excel, we will probably sputter because we’re out of practice.

(4) We negotiate on the job when we need to get cooperation from other people and departments. When we seek raises, recognition, and promotions, we’re obviously doing the same. Getting and keeping customers involves nonstop negotiations.

In fact, it is hard to find a time when we’re NOT negotiating, before, during, and even after work.

It might help to heighten awareness of and respect for this activity if we simply say a negotiator’s work is never done!